Protecting Hollywood from Countries We’ve Bombed

It seems that, at this moment, nothing is more important to the American populace than protecting Hollywood. Public education is going to the shitter, government programs for the poor are being cut in order to further bloat the imperialist war machine, it has just been revealed that torture is still a common practice of the CIA, but we’ll be damned if anyone fucks with Hollywood and its explosive movies that all seem to share the same fascistic, exceptionalist, mysoginistic premise. This so-called bastion of creativity(which releases the same shit annually but with a different white male hero every time) is what really needs to be protected, according to the newscasters and Michael Bay fans. But protected from what?
The now-infamous Sony hacks are the hot trend for the next generation of Iraq War enthusiasts. What created this outrage was the pulling of the film “The Interview” starring professional slob Seth Rogen and wannabe statutory rapist James Franco, which depicted the assassination of DPRK leader Kim Jong Un. The film – an obvious and comedic call for imperialist hostilities against a country we nearly crippled half a century ago and continue to pressure through economic and military methods – was going to be a likely favorite of the usually-apolitical stoners of this country full of apolitical-somethings. Now that it has been trashed, it’s apparently time for these folks to suddenly get an opinion. And where else can they find one besides the totally truthful bourgeois media?
Well, first we were told this was all done by a small group of hacktivists, then their threat-level reached “internet terrorists”, and now it is being said that this was the work of none other than the North Korean government itself. Now, before you go asking yourself what to believe, just remember, the bourgeois media only tells the truth, without being confined to the ideology of class interests, especially not bourgeois class interests…right? I mean, it’s not like the US media had anything against the DPRK beforehand. Oh, wait… Well, at least we know we’ve never been lied to about external threats to US security(just forget about Iraq, Libya, Vietnam, Chile, Ecuador, Cuba, for now). No, the bourgeois media isn’t lying about this. If it were, then these apolitical stoners would have to give up their hour of caring about something. And what would the world be like without under-educated Hollywood enthusiasts calling highly-educated brown people “brainwashed” for living in someplace that isn’t America?
Seriously though, when the US carpet-bombed North Korea, leaving no building standing above a single story, were the North Koreans supposed to be happy about it? Were they then supposed to start loving their attackers? All of these people who are up in arms about this movie seem to think the DPRK has no reason to even dislike the US, probably because these folks refuse to put anything they see into historical context. All they know is: The DPRK didn’t like a film blatantly calling for political assassination(something the US has been doing for decades), so that must mean they “hate free speech”. But when an American-made documentary says North Korean children’s shows call for the overthrow of the US, they’re “evil”. Does that mean this whole “free speech” thing only applies to American cinema? I think the double-standard is pretty clear here: The US, who has never been attacked by the DPRK, can make comedy out of political violence all it wants, because free speech, but the DPRK is “freedom-hating” and “mind-controlling” when it speaks negatively about the state that killed over 500,000 of its people.
The scariest part of the reactions to the Sony hacks is the rhetoric that is nearly identical to that which preceeded the clusterfuck that was the Iraq War. People who usually don’t give a shit about social or political issues are suddenly becoming mini Dick Cheneys because they really wanted to watch another film-clone by Rogen and Franco. These knights for freedom are now going on and on about how we need to “save” the people of North Korea from “brainwashing”(i.e. from free education, literacy, free healthcare – you know, all the normal brainwashing tools). I guess they are willfully ignorant to how terribly that went back in the ’50s, when we tried it the first time and just ended up killing hundreds of thousands of the people we were trying to “save”. But, by all means, let’s try it again – FOR THE MOVIEGOERS!
Another thing the Sony hacks have made public is the fact that Hollywood is complete shit. They’ve been churning out the same films for decades, all of them catering to American exceptionalist bourgeois hegemony. North Korea is called “totalitarian” because it is perceived to be controlled by a small elite minority. Well, what kind of group owns Hollywood and its studios? Owns the mass media, the healthcare system, the US government? A bunch of behind-the-scenes freedom-fighters, or wealthy members of the owning class? Do any of you really think the US only portrays the world objectively, without class interests?
I have been called a hypocrite for denouncing this film and not the anti-imperialist propaganda used by the DPRK. Funny thing is, the folks who call me a hypocrite denounce the DPRK’s anti-Americanism, but not Hollywood’s demonizations of enemies of US imperialism. Which country attacked which? Which has a more legitimate reason to hate the other? North Korea has done nothing to the US but fight against its invasion. The US invaded Korea over 60 years ago and hasn’t left. And yet, these part-time pro-imperialist activists think it absurd that the DPRK harbor any ill feelings towards the US, and that, simultaneously, the US has every “right” to joke about another bloody war because the North Koreans were mean and wouldn’t let us control them.
According to the American outrage, the people of North Korea are “brainwashed” into hating the country that destroyed their families, homes, land, lives – they are all “forced” by a single man to dislike the state that enforces sanctions and has a huge military presence on their border. While we Americans are totally free to act as we please, unless you’re poor, non-white, a woman.
What this all comes down to is good, old fashioned American exceptionalism: “When they say death to America, they’re tyrannical, when we say death to them(after killing thousands of them) we’re just using free speech.” The corporate media is rising into a frenzy of paranoid accusations. These “rebellious” stoner fans of Rogen’s are starting to look like the next generation of Bush-supporters – frantically pointing fingers at a country that is thought to be, but really isn’t, a threat, caring little for the lives that would be lost if the US were to “take action”, in favor of a goddamn movie this time, foaming at the mouth about “freedoms” which apparently only apply to US cinema and nowhere else, pretending that the loss of a movie is just as bad as an invasion(since they think we can be upset about “The Interview” being dropped, but the Koreans can’t be even slightly niggled about the fact that the US slaughtered their people by the thousands).
I’m just waiting for these folks to start saying “We’ll be welcomed as liberators”, the infamous words that preceeded the Iraq War and turned out to be completely false. I guess the people whining were too busy watching Superbad to remember how shitty the US has been treating other countries the world over, and are therefore calling for more hostilities.
Remember that old rule of American exceptionalism: When we attack, they should be grateful, when they are bitter, call them brainwashed.


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